So much later

And all this time to think, all this time to hold on, to be with you, to be without you, and yet still that creeping indecision.

And I don't want to talk to a page, but with so much distance this is what it comes down to. I need to vent somewhere; maybe seeing this will clear my head, make my decision for me. Because I waited and waited last time, thinking it was the right thing to do... and managed to miss my opportunity at the one thing I wanted most. I won't do that again, but I'm so stubborn on this front I just can't think what else to do.

And now is a bad time for this; I feel sick and fear that feeling will creep in and cloud my judgement as so many other things have.

Lover, you're still mine, and I know you know this, too.

You still give me butterflies.