I have come to terms with the fact that I will always love her.
It is therefore permissible to say that all of my anger, all of my hatred, is a product of jealousy and want.
I think it is also sufficient to believe that all of the sadness and anger and contempt in my current position were caused not by poor circumstances--I'm getting by, am I not?--but instead by the flood of emotions stirred by her.
It comes to my attention that maybe she has done the same as I, having forced herself to see the bad only, to make herself feel antipathy towards me, in order that she might get along without me.
But its a far stretch, I realize, and if my hypothesis be proved wrong, so be it. Tomorrow is another day; that day presents the contingency of infinite opportunity, and those opportunities I cannot fail to take.
Despite my theatrics, the future hinges on that taking.
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